October 20, 2012

The Lobe Goes Giddy

In my youth there were not many occasions that allowed for me to be outright giddy. When I turned seventeen I was granted full custody of myself in a court of law. I left the courthouse that day giddy as hell in a pair of wooden shoes. The clump of there weight echoed a giddy jig through the halls as I made my way towards the exit.

Exiting the courthouse my eyes filled with cloudless blue skies. My head raced with the possibilities of my new found freedom.

I quicken my step and begin to skip down the street. My heart is pounding as loud in my chest as the wooden shoes are pounding the pavement under my skipping feet. I stop and kick my foot up in sheer happiness of being alive.

My wooden shoe slips from my foot in mid-air and flies high in an arch before soaring downward onto a bums head. I cannot yell in time. The wooden shoe crashes down onto the bums head with a loud thud.

The bum doubled over with his head in his hands. He’s old and mentally ill. He is a local bum with a buzz haircut who is always bent forward looking for cigarette butts on the ground. The locals call him Buzz.

I once watched Buzz knock over a bunch of freshly planted baby palm trees on the main street of our town. And now I am forced to retrieve my wooden shoe from him. I hope Buzz does not head butt me to the ground the way he did those freshly planted baby palm trees.

With his hands still on his head Buzz turns his eyes towards the tops of the buildings. He is scanning to see who is throwing things down onto his head. Slowly I walk closer to him. He turns as he hears the clump of my remaining wooden shoe on the pavement behind him.

I am sorry that my shoe hit you Sir. I was so giddy just a moment ago that I kicked my foot up in the air and it flew off and hit you in the head. I really do hope it did not hurt you too much.

I take out a fresh pack of smokes and hold them out as a peace offering.
Buzz hands me my shoe with one hand and takes the full pack of smokes with his other hand.

Turning to make his get away he snarls at me; “Don’t be so fucking careless with your giddiness in the future dip shit”

Striking a match to a cigarette Buzz slowly fades behind a puff of smoke. I clump away on my heavy wooden shoes ready to take on the rest of the world.

1 comment:

  1. You whacked a bum with a wooden shoe. Life is a crazy place.